Every star has the “it” factor, but what is it that gives someone that “it”?

That was one of many conversations I had tonight with dr Boy Abunda over a three hour long dinner.

If you do not know who Boy Abunda is I can guarantee that you are not from the Philippines. In the Philippines he is Oprah, David Letterman and Ellen DeGeneres combined. He is “the King of Talk” and has interviewed everyone from Deepak Chopra to Miss Universe over an almost 30 year long career.

But tonight he was not interviewing anyone, if anything I was interviewing him.

Because a part from being a tv-talk show host he also runs a series of other companies including a talent management company that mangers all kinds of celebrities, from basketball players and actors to a celebrity dentist (!).

And it was from the perspective of both interviewing stars and celebrities, as well as helping to create them (as a talent manager) that I wanted to hear Dr Boy Abunda’s view on what it is that creates the “it-factor” – this elusive characteristic that makes someone have “star quality”.

I asked him to define this “it-factor”.

His first respons was that it can’t be defined. “That’s why it’s called the “x-factor”.”

That, of course, was a correct observation.

But I wanted to get an answer to a question that was not easily answered. I wanted to get closer to the truth. Catch the rainbow around being a star, if you wish.

So Dr Abunda kept thinking.

And then he replied: “It’s what radiates from you.”

“What is it that radiates?”, I inquired.

His answer surprised me and then delighted me.

He said: “Your story.”

He then elaborated: “People who have the “It-factor” have a deeper awareness of who they are. They are comfortable in themselves, in who they are and what they stand for.”

He continued to explain how he told the talents which he managers why no-one should ever try to copy some-one else’s singing style or acting style in an attempt to become a star, because it will never work since you do not have the background that made the person you are copying who they are.

The same is true for speakers.

Look at great speakers, learn from great speakers – but do not copy great speakers.

Instead dig deep into who you really are as a speaker, a person, a human being – as a soul. Then build yourself up as a speaker from there.

(Dr Abunda then added that this radiation that comes from knowing deeply who you are has to be nurtured with the tools of the trade, kind of like how a diamond has to be cut to shine to its fullest potential.)

What does star quality have to do with being a great speaker you say? And I say: A lot.

The ability to walk up on a stage and capture an audience requires a skill that is quite similar to possessing this “it-factor”.

Lesson: So as a speaker, try to dig inside to find your true story, the one that makes you radiate, so that you then can reach out with your message because people are drawn to what you have to say.

Bonus information: I also asked Boy Abunda about all the people he had interviewed and what made someone good to interview, and he replied that some people “have the gift of clarity”.

I found that profoundly insightful – and, I might add, very clear. 😉

The ability to get a message a cross in a way that people easily understand and take to their hearts is perhaps the most important skill a speaker can have. And to have it is truly a gift.

In all the speeches that you give, try to deliver them using the gift of clarity.

And then combine the two messages from Boy Abunda and you will have something truly powerful: A person who radiates while delivering a message that is communicated clearly.

I think you will agree with me that if you heard about a speaker who did that you would rush to get a chance to hear that speech.

Why are you a speaker?

If the answer that popped into your head was not: “Because I want to change the world”, then you are in the wrong profession.

Yes, I can think of a million different reasons for why people want to be speakers:

• They like to the energy that comes from speaking to a lot of people
• They like the buzz that comes from standing on stage
• They like the money that it pays
• They are passionate about a specific subject
• … and so on.

But if you are not speaking to change the world you are approaching this job from the wrong side.

Tonight I met a person who is a perfect example of a speaker who is speaking to change the world.

Idriz Zogaj is on a mission: to spread the power of training your brain to more people around the world.

He is the Head Coach of the Swedish National Team of Memory. Idriz was in Singapore with his team to compete, with great success, in the World Championships of Memory here in Singapore.  (Sweden got 3 Gold medals, including memorising 2860 numbers in 60 minutes, memorising 527 abstract pictures in 15 minutes – and the new World Record of memorising 520 numbers  in five minutes (!).)

As a coach of the Swedish National Memory team, and as an author, app-developer – and speaker – Idriz is working non-stop to get society to understand the vast potential that lies in us becoming better at understanding the power of our minds.

As a speaker he goes to companies, governments, and schools and talks about both how we can become better at remembering things, but also about why it is so important that we do.

His dream, or I should say his goal, is to make memory training a everyday sport, just like jogging.

He truly believes that if we became more aware of what our minds can do our world would become better. And when he speaks you can feel it. And when you can feel the authentic urge to change the world, you get followers. You win the audience over.

 

Idriz TedX-talk is one of the most watch TedX-talks out there, with more than 5 million (!) views.

Being a great speaker is not about speaking techniques, rhetoric or “speaking skills” – it is about one person standing on a stage speaking about something that person thinks is so important because if more people understood it it would change the world for the better.

Yes, speaking techniques, rhetoric or “speaking skills” are important in getting the message across in an effective way – but they are nothing compared to the power of a speaker communicating what he or she thinks is a world-changing message.

The next time you go up on stage ask yourself: Why am I doing this speech? How is this going to change the world for the better?

If you can not answer that questions honestly, perhaps you should give another speech.

I get inspired by speakers like Idriz.

Not as a speaker, but as a human who bought into his message. (Just look at that big grin on my face as I a received the actual deck of cards used in the World Championships by one of the Swedish team members who used that deck in World Championships. I am now using that deck, and Idriz books, to play with my son and to help develop our memory. Message received. Idriz dream spread to one more family.)

 

 

This is a post about the end of a speech. But let me start from the beginning.

Today 3000 people from 60 different countries met at the KL Convention Centre for the Global Entrepreneurship Community Conference. It was a very ambitious conference meant to inspire entrepreneurship in Malaysia and beyond. It was opened by the Prime Minister of Malaysia and the organisers had flown in some world class speakers from around the world: including Mike Walsh and Jon Duschinsky.

I am speaking tomorrow, but today I was just attending the conference to listen and learn about entrepreneurship, but also to watch other speakers speak.

And the takeaway for me today was the technique of ending your speech with energy.

Both Mike and Jon are high energy speakers, but it was interesting to see how they both had prepared an ending that was even MORE energetic, and which included playing background music while they finished off their speeches.

Ending a speech like that makes the speech more like a performance, reminding me of how musicals often end with a high energy, up-beat musical number to get the audience on their feet for the ending.

Turning your speech into a “performance” can be dangerous. It risks turning the audience against you with a feeling of “I did not come here for a show” or “This is too rehearsed”.

But done right, it infuses a lot of energy into the room.

Personally I prefer to end a speech based on the energy I feel the audience has, i.e. to customise the ending based on where I feel the audience is. (And then a pre-prepared musical number might make that more difficult, so I do not use music for my endings.)

But I was today reminded about the importance to leave some room for increasing the energy at the end of a speech.

It is so easy to think of the ending as: “Oh, thank God, I made it to the end…”

Instead think of the ending as the end of a tight 800 meter race and how you need to sprint at the end to win.

Lesson: Save some energy during the bulk of your speech so that you can “spring” to the finish line.

The End.